Mark Unleashed has moved. Wordpress is just so much more user-friendly.
New address: http://markunleashed.wordpress.com/
Please come by anytime. Take advantage of the open door policy. Get involved, have your say, speak your mind, and enjoy.
All new posts will be made there.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Easy expression...
I am committed to discussion and sharing.
Since some of you have commented at the apparent difficulty in posting comments to this blog, I am curious to see if you find it easier to comment using a different blog host.
Please join me at http://markunleashed.wordpress.com/. Same author, same content, hopefully easier conversation.
I look forward to your comments about the blog and your recommendations about the site to use into the future.
Mark
Since some of you have commented at the apparent difficulty in posting comments to this blog, I am curious to see if you find it easier to comment using a different blog host.
Please join me at http://markunleashed.wordpress.com/. Same author, same content, hopefully easier conversation.
I look forward to your comments about the blog and your recommendations about the site to use into the future.
Mark
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
What is "real"?
The computer you're typing on, the chair you're sitting in, the glasses you're wearing and the one you're drinking from are all real. The house you're living in and the television you're watching: those are real too.
However, your feelings, thoughts, interpretations, and emotions, all of them, are not real.
Now I have your attention, I'm sure.
I am not one to simply make a provocative statement and then walk away, so I invite you to play along with the following 2 scenarios as I explain what some of you may currently be saying is the latest proof of my craziness.
First, please imagine yourself standing in the park nearest to where you currently are. There is a line on the ground at your feet. In front of you, not 5 feet away, sits a 4-legged chair. Now imagine the entire population of your town or city (or the world, if your imagination is so vivid) standing behind you in a single-file line.
Your instructions are simple. Walk up to the line, then take up to 10 steps forward and report what happened, then move aside so the next person in line can do the same.
Assuming everyone follows the instructions, what will happen to every single person who plays this game?
They will walk into the chair. Every single person will walk into the chair. Without exception, young or old, black, white, brown, or purple, rich or poor, athletic or artistic, each of the thousands, millions, or billions of people you imagined will walk into the chair.
Consider, therefore, that the chair is real. Though that "chair" may be called different things depending on the person talking about it, the "thing" called "chair" or "chaise" or "ki-seh" or "silla" or however it is referred to, descriptively or not, is still real.
What makes the chair real? It is real because it occurs the same way to anyone and everyone who experiences it.
Now imagine yourself in a group of 300 people selected to attend a special screening of a movie, showing for the very first time. As in the last example, the instructions are simple. Watch the movie and, when it is over, answer questions about the movie and their experience of it.
After the credits roll, each of the 300 people are asked about their feelings, thoughts, judgments and interpretations about the movie.
How many different answers do you think will be given? Consider that there can be up to 300 different answers to these questions as the exact same movie can be felt, thought of, judged, and interpreted any number of ways. Each person has unique feelings, thoughts, judgments, and interpretations which may or may not come from their attitude, experience, history, fears, likes and dislikes, or some other source that they may or even may not be aware is having an impact on them.
Consider that this complete and utter inconsistency in response to the exact same input is our indication that FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, INTERPRETATIONS, EMOTIONS, JUDGMENTS, etc... ARE NOT REAL.
To be clear, I am NOT saying that feelings, thoughts, interpretations, emotions, and judgments do not occur. I am specifically saying that they are not REAL.
Now that the distinction has been made, why is it important and how can you use this knowledge?
Distinguishing what is real from what is unreal is crucial to maintaining our sanity and assists us in maintaining an attitude that is aligned with what we are committed to in life.
Knowledge alone that emotions are not real will not eliminate one's "sadness" after a breakup or the death of a loved one. Similarly, that the emotion of "love" is not real will not invalidate the loving relationship that a person has with their spouse, child, parent, or pet. That the judgments of "right" or "wrong" are not real does not constitute an invitation to lawlessness or disrespect, and so on...
What this distinction allows is the ability, first, to understand the different impacts of "real" things vs. "unreal" things on our lives, and second, to choose how we deal with these things.
Something that is real, exists. That chair, for example, is real. Without the instructions given, if you do not want to walk into it, you can choose to walk around it, step onto it, perhaps even move it. Whatever you do, you cannot deny it. It is real. Your choice lies in what you do next, having accepted its reality.
Something that is unreal, simply, can be changed, transformed, replaced, ignored, or otherwise managed, simply by changing one's mind.
I hear the chorus now - "but that's very hard, Mark!" Perhaps, but "hard" is a judgment, and as such, it is not real. In the same way that you *said* "that's hard", you could have just as easily said "awesome! that's easy! I'll do it!"
To further illustrate the first example, a person walks into the chair and exclaims "Who put this stupid chair here? "Chair" is real, but "stupid" is not. The next person in line, after having followed the instructions, sees the chair and might choose to adjust their speed to minimize the effect of the impact when they, too, walk into the chair. Instead of going into a place of anger, blame, and resentment, the second person simply accepts the reality of the chair as well as its location, leaving them free to continue their life without the burden of the upset that the first person is now living with.
I doubt highly that any of us have encountered the chair-in-the-park scenario, so here's one that's a bit more plausible. As you drive, next to another car, at a decent pace down a narrow road behind a truck, the truck loses part of its load of carpentry nails. Both cars immediately slam on the brakes, but it's too late, one has already pierced the front tire of your car as well as a tire on the car next to you. The tire loses pressure rapidly, and both cars are stuck. Ironically, both drivers were running late for meetings. This will not help.
One driver jumps out of his car and runs down the street trying to catch a glimpse of the license plate of the offending truck. This driver screaming about how irresponsible the driver is, how he's going to pay for the tire, etc.. etc.. he is fuming mad! As the driver walks back to the car, disconsolate, he notices the other driver, also with a flat tire, calmly talking on the phone.
Two drivers, both with a flat tire (REAL), dealing with this reality in two dramatically different ways. The first driver refuses to accept his reality, while the second took a deep breath, realized that their flat tire wasn't going to repair itself, accepted what happened, and took action to help his situation. The benefits to the second driver are clear and undeniable. He will accomplish more to the benefit of his situation and will suffer less on the emotional side simply because he chose not to resist reality.
In every situation, there are elements of reality and other elements that are not real. Said differently, these unreal elements are made up. The worst thing we could do is deny that we make things up. To confuse reality with our made up emotions, judgments, thoughts, interpretations, and feelings is sure to create a situation that will lead to a less-than-happy conclusion.
The key to success in the realm of reality has a few steps. First, admit that you make things up hundreds of times a day. Second, recognize that, in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with making stuff up, provided that you recognize that you're doing just that. Finally, remember the golden rule: "if you're going to make things up anyway, only make up things that inspire you."
Concretely, this rule will guide you well. It will remind you to stay away from making up negative-sounding stories about your mother, father, partner, neighbour etc... On the positive side, it will encourage you to make up any story that you want that brings you closer to these people and leaves you happy.
Just because love and happiness are unreal doesn't mean you shouldn't want, (read: make up) as much of them as possible. Go create an abundance of love and happiness in your lives. Every day, as often as possible. And when you find unreal negative emotions, judgments, thoughts, interpretations, and feelings at the forefront of your lives, you know what to do: change your mind. It's easy.
Do you know why it's easy? Because I said so.
If you don't want to believe me, believe Henry Ford, who offers this succinct analysis of the power we give our unreal thoughts: "If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."
However, your feelings, thoughts, interpretations, and emotions, all of them, are not real.
Now I have your attention, I'm sure.
I am not one to simply make a provocative statement and then walk away, so I invite you to play along with the following 2 scenarios as I explain what some of you may currently be saying is the latest proof of my craziness.
First, please imagine yourself standing in the park nearest to where you currently are. There is a line on the ground at your feet. In front of you, not 5 feet away, sits a 4-legged chair. Now imagine the entire population of your town or city (or the world, if your imagination is so vivid) standing behind you in a single-file line.
Your instructions are simple. Walk up to the line, then take up to 10 steps forward and report what happened, then move aside so the next person in line can do the same.
Assuming everyone follows the instructions, what will happen to every single person who plays this game?
They will walk into the chair. Every single person will walk into the chair. Without exception, young or old, black, white, brown, or purple, rich or poor, athletic or artistic, each of the thousands, millions, or billions of people you imagined will walk into the chair.
Consider, therefore, that the chair is real. Though that "chair" may be called different things depending on the person talking about it, the "thing" called "chair" or "chaise" or "ki-seh" or "silla" or however it is referred to, descriptively or not, is still real.
What makes the chair real? It is real because it occurs the same way to anyone and everyone who experiences it.
Now imagine yourself in a group of 300 people selected to attend a special screening of a movie, showing for the very first time. As in the last example, the instructions are simple. Watch the movie and, when it is over, answer questions about the movie and their experience of it.
After the credits roll, each of the 300 people are asked about their feelings, thoughts, judgments and interpretations about the movie.
How many different answers do you think will be given? Consider that there can be up to 300 different answers to these questions as the exact same movie can be felt, thought of, judged, and interpreted any number of ways. Each person has unique feelings, thoughts, judgments, and interpretations which may or may not come from their attitude, experience, history, fears, likes and dislikes, or some other source that they may or even may not be aware is having an impact on them.
Consider that this complete and utter inconsistency in response to the exact same input is our indication that FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, INTERPRETATIONS, EMOTIONS, JUDGMENTS, etc... ARE NOT REAL.
To be clear, I am NOT saying that feelings, thoughts, interpretations, emotions, and judgments do not occur. I am specifically saying that they are not REAL.
Now that the distinction has been made, why is it important and how can you use this knowledge?
Distinguishing what is real from what is unreal is crucial to maintaining our sanity and assists us in maintaining an attitude that is aligned with what we are committed to in life.
Knowledge alone that emotions are not real will not eliminate one's "sadness" after a breakup or the death of a loved one. Similarly, that the emotion of "love" is not real will not invalidate the loving relationship that a person has with their spouse, child, parent, or pet. That the judgments of "right" or "wrong" are not real does not constitute an invitation to lawlessness or disrespect, and so on...
What this distinction allows is the ability, first, to understand the different impacts of "real" things vs. "unreal" things on our lives, and second, to choose how we deal with these things.
Something that is real, exists. That chair, for example, is real. Without the instructions given, if you do not want to walk into it, you can choose to walk around it, step onto it, perhaps even move it. Whatever you do, you cannot deny it. It is real. Your choice lies in what you do next, having accepted its reality.
Something that is unreal, simply, can be changed, transformed, replaced, ignored, or otherwise managed, simply by changing one's mind.
I hear the chorus now - "but that's very hard, Mark!" Perhaps, but "hard" is a judgment, and as such, it is not real. In the same way that you *said* "that's hard", you could have just as easily said "awesome! that's easy! I'll do it!"
To further illustrate the first example, a person walks into the chair and exclaims "Who put this stupid chair here? "Chair" is real, but "stupid" is not. The next person in line, after having followed the instructions, sees the chair and might choose to adjust their speed to minimize the effect of the impact when they, too, walk into the chair. Instead of going into a place of anger, blame, and resentment, the second person simply accepts the reality of the chair as well as its location, leaving them free to continue their life without the burden of the upset that the first person is now living with.
I doubt highly that any of us have encountered the chair-in-the-park scenario, so here's one that's a bit more plausible. As you drive, next to another car, at a decent pace down a narrow road behind a truck, the truck loses part of its load of carpentry nails. Both cars immediately slam on the brakes, but it's too late, one has already pierced the front tire of your car as well as a tire on the car next to you. The tire loses pressure rapidly, and both cars are stuck. Ironically, both drivers were running late for meetings. This will not help.
One driver jumps out of his car and runs down the street trying to catch a glimpse of the license plate of the offending truck. This driver screaming about how irresponsible the driver is, how he's going to pay for the tire, etc.. etc.. he is fuming mad! As the driver walks back to the car, disconsolate, he notices the other driver, also with a flat tire, calmly talking on the phone.
Two drivers, both with a flat tire (REAL), dealing with this reality in two dramatically different ways. The first driver refuses to accept his reality, while the second took a deep breath, realized that their flat tire wasn't going to repair itself, accepted what happened, and took action to help his situation. The benefits to the second driver are clear and undeniable. He will accomplish more to the benefit of his situation and will suffer less on the emotional side simply because he chose not to resist reality.
In every situation, there are elements of reality and other elements that are not real. Said differently, these unreal elements are made up. The worst thing we could do is deny that we make things up. To confuse reality with our made up emotions, judgments, thoughts, interpretations, and feelings is sure to create a situation that will lead to a less-than-happy conclusion.
The key to success in the realm of reality has a few steps. First, admit that you make things up hundreds of times a day. Second, recognize that, in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with making stuff up, provided that you recognize that you're doing just that. Finally, remember the golden rule: "if you're going to make things up anyway, only make up things that inspire you."
Concretely, this rule will guide you well. It will remind you to stay away from making up negative-sounding stories about your mother, father, partner, neighbour etc... On the positive side, it will encourage you to make up any story that you want that brings you closer to these people and leaves you happy.
Just because love and happiness are unreal doesn't mean you shouldn't want, (read: make up) as much of them as possible. Go create an abundance of love and happiness in your lives. Every day, as often as possible. And when you find unreal negative emotions, judgments, thoughts, interpretations, and feelings at the forefront of your lives, you know what to do: change your mind. It's easy.
Do you know why it's easy? Because I said so.
If you don't want to believe me, believe Henry Ford, who offers this succinct analysis of the power we give our unreal thoughts: "If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."
Monday, November 22, 2010
'tis the season...
As we approach Black Friday (the day after American Thanksgiving, known for blowout sales, much like Boxing Day here in Canada), millions of North Americans' thoughts turn to the coming holidays.
What is the first thing you think about when someone mentions the holidays? Is it the snow that's likely to fall? Is it the list of memories you have from holidays past, shared with loved ones? Is it the list of people you are excited to spend time with this year? Likely not, but it should be. In the 21st century, most people, when thinking of the holidays, think immediately of the gift shopping they *need* to do.
It's all around us. Commercials on the radio, on TV, and on banner ads on every conceivable website you visit tout the number of shopping days until Christmas, 33 today according to daysuntil.com. (Only 10 days until Chanukah!) Tens (maybe hundreds) of millions of dollars are spent reminding you of this most important deadline. Only a tiny fraction of that amount is spent in advertisements promoting the other, non-commercial, personal side of the holidays.
(6 years ago, I spent 3 hours watching the Quebec Parliament channel because I was touched by the personal recorded messages from parliamentarians from all political stripes. None mentioned gifts.)
Why is it important? Why do we give gifts? (not only for holidays, by the way, but for birthdays and other "designated" occasions too...)
Well, above all, this answer is personal - or at least that's what most people will have others believe. In my heart, I believe that some people are genuinely generous. These people want only to share their good fortune, with no expectation of receiving gifts in return. Consider that this is a (very) small portion of the population.
Most people, I believe, give gifts because it has become a societal obligation of sorts. Years of effective marketing have created a false connection between the holidays and gift giving, and consequently between gift giving and love, or caring, or thoughtfulness. What is thoughtful about buying a gift because you are expected to? Or worse, because you don't want to deal with the consequences of not buying one?
One very common trait in people is a desire to look good or avoid looking bad. It is easy to see how this trait comes into play when considering what kind of gift to buy, or whether to buy at all. It is all too common, when gift shopping, to consider what other people may likely buy for you in order to target a similar price range. Why? Only to look good or avoid looking bad in their eyes.
If you're calling me cynical (or any similar adjective) right now, ask yourself where the term "Hallmark holiday" came from. How many people believe that they have "celebrated" Mother's or Father's Day simply as a result of sending a card? It's an easy way out. Rather than making an effort to arrange schedules to be with loved ones in person, "I'll just send a card" tells the story. Effective and relentless marketing has linked giving greeting cards with caring about someone. It's an absolutely fabricated connection that we actually bought! This connection, created solely for profit and greed, has made Hallmark OVER $4.4 BILLION a year in sales. According to the "Greeting Card Association" (greetingcard.org), annual revenue from greeting card sales, annually, in the United States alone was OVER $7.5 BILLION.
And for what? A card that you look at once and then throw away, or keep and watch it collect dust and take up space, never to be seen again? The Hall family and others are laughing at us all the way to the bank.
(Imagine what would be possible if we took that $2 - $4 per greeting card and used it to buy food for the poor? to pay for beds in a homeless shelter? Or build a brand new shelter... )
While makers of greeting cards and non-essential consumer goods reap the benefits of our selfish desire for acceptance through gifts, many are suffering. One would hope that families who are struggling to put proper food on their table or pay for adequate and comfortable shelter would focus on these priorities before worrying about what gift to buy, but I would bet that this is sadly not the case for some. I know, though, that one of the major impacts of gift giving and receiving is, unfortunately, resentment. It comes from when someone expects to receive something that is not given, when they perceive that the value of their gift exceeds the value of the gift that was received, or when someone projects their own interpretation of the thought (or lack thereof) that went into a gift-giving decision. The result is often hard feelings, a form of upset that goes against the true spirit of the holidays. Anger that can last long beyond the batteries in your new video game.
Make no mistake. I am not, for a second, suggesting that these companies are at fault for personal problems in the home. I am a proud capitalist. I believe that our system works when innovative people come up with great ideas, execute them in original ways, promote them, sell them, and earn money to support their families.
However, more than my belief in capitalism is my belief in the utmost importance of personal choice and personal responsibility. We create our tomorrows by way of our actions today. By focusing so much on the "importance of gifts" and by falsely making gift-giving *mean* something about the giver, we are creating a future based more on material goods than on what's important - quality time spent with those around us, fostering interpersonal relationships, actually getting to know people on a deep level. If we put more time and effort into what we are going to buy for someone than we do in making time to spend with that person, learn about that person, relate to that person, and nurture that person, then we are absolutely missing the point - as well as a huge opportunity.
This holiday season, may your thoughts be focused on the value you spend in minutes rather than the value you spend in dollars.
It took lots of out-of-the-box thinking to create the consumerist madness we are now experiencing, and it will take a tremendous amount of courage make the choices that we need to make to return our society to a place where caring is shown by spending time together, not by buying things. I invite everyone to do their part, to start now.
If, like me, you find yourself *stuck* in actions that don't correspond to your morals and values, even if they go against common thought in 2010, listen to the wise words of Dr. Seuss:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Please accept my wish for the happiest and healthiest of holidays spent together with those who mean the most to you.
(Oh, and go out and give gifts if you choose to - but give "out of nothing". Give because you were thinking about someone and saw something they would love. Give because you saw something neat and thought of someone special. Give without any expectations and without any fear of judgement. Give because you're inspired by giving.)
What is the first thing you think about when someone mentions the holidays? Is it the snow that's likely to fall? Is it the list of memories you have from holidays past, shared with loved ones? Is it the list of people you are excited to spend time with this year? Likely not, but it should be. In the 21st century, most people, when thinking of the holidays, think immediately of the gift shopping they *need* to do.
It's all around us. Commercials on the radio, on TV, and on banner ads on every conceivable website you visit tout the number of shopping days until Christmas, 33 today according to daysuntil.com. (Only 10 days until Chanukah!) Tens (maybe hundreds) of millions of dollars are spent reminding you of this most important deadline. Only a tiny fraction of that amount is spent in advertisements promoting the other, non-commercial, personal side of the holidays.
(6 years ago, I spent 3 hours watching the Quebec Parliament channel because I was touched by the personal recorded messages from parliamentarians from all political stripes. None mentioned gifts.)
Why is it important? Why do we give gifts? (not only for holidays, by the way, but for birthdays and other "designated" occasions too...)
Well, above all, this answer is personal - or at least that's what most people will have others believe. In my heart, I believe that some people are genuinely generous. These people want only to share their good fortune, with no expectation of receiving gifts in return. Consider that this is a (very) small portion of the population.
Most people, I believe, give gifts because it has become a societal obligation of sorts. Years of effective marketing have created a false connection between the holidays and gift giving, and consequently between gift giving and love, or caring, or thoughtfulness. What is thoughtful about buying a gift because you are expected to? Or worse, because you don't want to deal with the consequences of not buying one?
One very common trait in people is a desire to look good or avoid looking bad. It is easy to see how this trait comes into play when considering what kind of gift to buy, or whether to buy at all. It is all too common, when gift shopping, to consider what other people may likely buy for you in order to target a similar price range. Why? Only to look good or avoid looking bad in their eyes.
If you're calling me cynical (or any similar adjective) right now, ask yourself where the term "Hallmark holiday" came from. How many people believe that they have "celebrated" Mother's or Father's Day simply as a result of sending a card? It's an easy way out. Rather than making an effort to arrange schedules to be with loved ones in person, "I'll just send a card" tells the story. Effective and relentless marketing has linked giving greeting cards with caring about someone. It's an absolutely fabricated connection that we actually bought! This connection, created solely for profit and greed, has made Hallmark OVER $4.4 BILLION a year in sales. According to the "Greeting Card Association" (greetingcard.org), annual revenue from greeting card sales, annually, in the United States alone was OVER $7.5 BILLION.
And for what? A card that you look at once and then throw away, or keep and watch it collect dust and take up space, never to be seen again? The Hall family and others are laughing at us all the way to the bank.
(Imagine what would be possible if we took that $2 - $4 per greeting card and used it to buy food for the poor? to pay for beds in a homeless shelter? Or build a brand new shelter... )
While makers of greeting cards and non-essential consumer goods reap the benefits of our selfish desire for acceptance through gifts, many are suffering. One would hope that families who are struggling to put proper food on their table or pay for adequate and comfortable shelter would focus on these priorities before worrying about what gift to buy, but I would bet that this is sadly not the case for some. I know, though, that one of the major impacts of gift giving and receiving is, unfortunately, resentment. It comes from when someone expects to receive something that is not given, when they perceive that the value of their gift exceeds the value of the gift that was received, or when someone projects their own interpretation of the thought (or lack thereof) that went into a gift-giving decision. The result is often hard feelings, a form of upset that goes against the true spirit of the holidays. Anger that can last long beyond the batteries in your new video game.
Make no mistake. I am not, for a second, suggesting that these companies are at fault for personal problems in the home. I am a proud capitalist. I believe that our system works when innovative people come up with great ideas, execute them in original ways, promote them, sell them, and earn money to support their families.
However, more than my belief in capitalism is my belief in the utmost importance of personal choice and personal responsibility. We create our tomorrows by way of our actions today. By focusing so much on the "importance of gifts" and by falsely making gift-giving *mean* something about the giver, we are creating a future based more on material goods than on what's important - quality time spent with those around us, fostering interpersonal relationships, actually getting to know people on a deep level. If we put more time and effort into what we are going to buy for someone than we do in making time to spend with that person, learn about that person, relate to that person, and nurture that person, then we are absolutely missing the point - as well as a huge opportunity.
This holiday season, may your thoughts be focused on the value you spend in minutes rather than the value you spend in dollars.
It took lots of out-of-the-box thinking to create the consumerist madness we are now experiencing, and it will take a tremendous amount of courage make the choices that we need to make to return our society to a place where caring is shown by spending time together, not by buying things. I invite everyone to do their part, to start now.
If, like me, you find yourself *stuck* in actions that don't correspond to your morals and values, even if they go against common thought in 2010, listen to the wise words of Dr. Seuss:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Please accept my wish for the happiest and healthiest of holidays spent together with those who mean the most to you.
(Oh, and go out and give gifts if you choose to - but give "out of nothing". Give because you were thinking about someone and saw something they would love. Give because you saw something neat and thought of someone special. Give without any expectations and without any fear of judgement. Give because you're inspired by giving.)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Great news travels fast.
Wow. In a world where it seems that there is more bad news at every turn, it's nice to be able to share good news. Over the last few days, my wife and I have begun telling people that she's pregnant. I am so touched by the open expressions of excitement for us. Thank you!
I am especially moved by one particular comment: "you are going to be such a great father." In the past, when playing with children, I have been told this. But now that fatherhood is closer to being real, the impact of hearing that quite a number of people think this way of me is incredible to think about.
Thank you for sharing this most amazing compliment. This is going to be so great!
I am especially moved by one particular comment: "you are going to be such a great father." In the past, when playing with children, I have been told this. But now that fatherhood is closer to being real, the impact of hearing that quite a number of people think this way of me is incredible to think about.
Thank you for sharing this most amazing compliment. This is going to be so great!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Adult Children
Well, if the Gazette is going to print my work, I may as well post it too! (Letter to the Editor, Nov. 17, 2010)
http://www.montrealgazette.com/opinion/letters/Names+hurt/3839797/story.html
(Disclaimer: in my letter, I did NOT reference any political figure, nor did I make mention of the Gazette story that the printed letter references.)
My submitted letter read:
"With a family name like mine, I got teased a lot as a child. My parents would often remind me to ignore it, and focus on more important things.
Maybe one day I'll become Premier and sue anyone who calls me a name I don't like.
Remember: sticks and stones..."
For those who don't know what this refers to, here are the facts only. This week one politician called the Premier of Quebec "the Godfather of the Liberal Party." The Premier took offence. He had his lawyer write to the politician who said this to demand an apology or face legal action. This is the second time in the last 2 years that the Premier of Quebec has threatened to sue (in the first case he actually did sue) someone for calling him a name.
Now I'm not going to comment on the merits of this case or make judgements about who is right or wrong, for a few reasons. What I will say, though, is that there are FAR more important things to be worried about every day instead of what someone else called you, especially if you're responsible for a family, an organization, or an entire province of Canada.
Lastly, I will say that I wish that adults acted like adults. All of us. And I sincerely hope that I won't be sued for calling certain adults "children."
http://www.montrealgazette.com/opinion/letters/Names+hurt/3839797/story.html
(Disclaimer: in my letter, I did NOT reference any political figure, nor did I make mention of the Gazette story that the printed letter references.)
My submitted letter read:
"With a family name like mine, I got teased a lot as a child. My parents would often remind me to ignore it, and focus on more important things.
Maybe one day I'll become Premier and sue anyone who calls me a name I don't like.
Remember: sticks and stones..."
For those who don't know what this refers to, here are the facts only. This week one politician called the Premier of Quebec "the Godfather of the Liberal Party." The Premier took offence. He had his lawyer write to the politician who said this to demand an apology or face legal action. This is the second time in the last 2 years that the Premier of Quebec has threatened to sue (in the first case he actually did sue) someone for calling him a name.
Now I'm not going to comment on the merits of this case or make judgements about who is right or wrong, for a few reasons. What I will say, though, is that there are FAR more important things to be worried about every day instead of what someone else called you, especially if you're responsible for a family, an organization, or an entire province of Canada.
Lastly, I will say that I wish that adults acted like adults. All of us. And I sincerely hope that I won't be sued for calling certain adults "children."
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
A new day, another glaring example...
Today, I was driving behind a rental truck from the company ViaRoute.
On the back of the truck, the words : "Notre meilleur tarif - GARANTI" (Translated: "Our best rate - GUARANTEED").
Think about it. That is such a meaningless promise. If anything, all that says is "don't negotiate with us." It says nothing about getting the best price, only that you're getting THEIR best price. But what does the reader read? Likely not what they originally thought.
Why am I coming back with another example?
Simple. Examples are ALL around us. I'm positive that, if you paid attention to the thousands of ads and marketing mentions you see in a day, you'd see dozens of examples without much difficulty.
Some of you might be saying, "Mark, really? This isn't important. Who cares? etc..." Well, it is important.
Companies have no qualms choosing words that *sound* advantageous to the customer but are really designed to protect themselves. Don't kid yourself. They choose their words very carefully. Why? Just like that faint disclaimer on TV commercials and the fine print on contracts, they know that the law requires them to uphold the promises they make, and these carefully chosen words dumb down their promises, thereby reducing their responsibility.
Herein lies an important (read: crucial) distinction - laws force companies to honour the promises they make, NOT the promises someone ASSUMES they make because they didn't bother reading the promise as it was written.
Moral of the story: Read carefully, and question anything that isn't perfectly clear. Remember, in business and in social life, you can only hold someone to what they said, not what you think they said; and this, only if you listened to it in the first place.
(As for brevity... getting better :))
On the back of the truck, the words : "Notre meilleur tarif - GARANTI" (Translated: "Our best rate - GUARANTEED").
Think about it. That is such a meaningless promise. If anything, all that says is "don't negotiate with us." It says nothing about getting the best price, only that you're getting THEIR best price. But what does the reader read? Likely not what they originally thought.
Why am I coming back with another example?
Simple. Examples are ALL around us. I'm positive that, if you paid attention to the thousands of ads and marketing mentions you see in a day, you'd see dozens of examples without much difficulty.
Some of you might be saying, "Mark, really? This isn't important. Who cares? etc..." Well, it is important.
Companies have no qualms choosing words that *sound* advantageous to the customer but are really designed to protect themselves. Don't kid yourself. They choose their words very carefully. Why? Just like that faint disclaimer on TV commercials and the fine print on contracts, they know that the law requires them to uphold the promises they make, and these carefully chosen words dumb down their promises, thereby reducing their responsibility.
Herein lies an important (read: crucial) distinction - laws force companies to honour the promises they make, NOT the promises someone ASSUMES they make because they didn't bother reading the promise as it was written.
Moral of the story: Read carefully, and question anything that isn't perfectly clear. Remember, in business and in social life, you can only hold someone to what they said, not what you think they said; and this, only if you listened to it in the first place.
(As for brevity... getting better :))
Monday, November 15, 2010
We must question what we're told.
(When I wrote the first post, my introduction to blogging, I expected to write often. I just realized that what was stopping me was a belief that all of my posts had to be detailed, clear, and well thought out. I'm making this post with the assumption that my belief is wrong. This is a big step for me. Brevity has not, so far in my life, been my strength. .)
Please enjoy.
What has happened to "truth"? Such a simple thing, yet I can't say enough about its huge importance.
Advertisers don't seem to hold "truth" in as high regard as I do. There are so many examples out there, but right now, two are on my mind.
1) Crest 3D White toothpaste: "Professional Photographer"
This commercial features a woman who proudly claims "“As a professional photographer, I know how important a white smile is…”
As she says this, the fine print on the bottom of the screen reads: "Actress, not a real professional photographer."
Are you serious, Crest? Do you not have the slightest issue with the main premise of your commercial being a lie? Isn't the point of a commercial to convince the viewing audience that the product does what you claim it does? If you're going to lie in the making of the commercial, how do we know you're not also lying about the product itself?
More than that, how can you so openly mock the intelligence of your customers? Authorizing this commercial is akin to saying "these idiots will believe anything they hear. No one will read the obligatory legal stuff that's printed so faintly at the bottom of the screen."
Now, let's be clear - I don't have a problem with the premise of the commercial. It makes logical sense that a photographer would say this. It fits the industry perfectly and goes to the heart of the product's purpose. But come on! How hard would it have been to get an actual photographer to shoot this commercial? What about, OH MY GOD!, an actress who is also a professional photographer? What a concept?
2) All Nutrisystem commercials.
This home delivery "diet" program has big celebrity spokespeople. Like every other diet plan commercial out there, they disclaim the impressive results their on-screen "clients" are boasting about with a fine-print line like "results not typical". Garbage. Tell me what I can *typically* expect from using your product.
Nutrisystem goes even farther. They claim that their plan is "based on the proven science of the glycemic index." Do you know what the glycemic index is? Do you believe that most people have ever heard of this? The result is that people just hear "based on the proven science......"
The truth is that the glycemic index is just that, an index of foods, categorized by carbohydrate and sugar content. There is SOOOOO much more than one needs to consider before claiming that the glycemic index is a powerful tool in weight loss. And, there are still many criticisms of the reliability of this index.
So, before you go out and claim that your product is based on a "proven" science..., make sure it's actually proven.
Selling diets and nutrition to people requires even more truth than toothpaste. When these companies market their product to obese/fat people, their potential clients are buying HOPE. Their less-than-candid advertising risks creating a false sense of hope in people which will only lead to greater disappointment.
But the companies don't care because for them each lie, or half-truth that is "bought" just sounds like more $$$.
Why do these 2 companies (and many others) say just about anything in their ads? Because there are tens of millions of people out there who will turn around and say "3D white toothpaste is so good that it is recommended by professional photographers" or "Nutrisystem will work! It's scientifically proven!"
Of course, the smart ones among us will quietly laugh at this commercial, but nothing will change until we raise our voices and demand that companies be straight with us in their advertising.
Tell us the truth. And if they don't believe the truth will make us want to buy the product, then MAKE THE PRODUCT BETTER!
(okay, so it wasn't so brief... :))
Please enjoy.
What has happened to "truth"? Such a simple thing, yet I can't say enough about its huge importance.
Advertisers don't seem to hold "truth" in as high regard as I do. There are so many examples out there, but right now, two are on my mind.
1) Crest 3D White toothpaste: "Professional Photographer"
This commercial features a woman who proudly claims "“As a professional photographer, I know how important a white smile is…”
As she says this, the fine print on the bottom of the screen reads: "Actress, not a real professional photographer."
Are you serious, Crest? Do you not have the slightest issue with the main premise of your commercial being a lie? Isn't the point of a commercial to convince the viewing audience that the product does what you claim it does? If you're going to lie in the making of the commercial, how do we know you're not also lying about the product itself?
More than that, how can you so openly mock the intelligence of your customers? Authorizing this commercial is akin to saying "these idiots will believe anything they hear. No one will read the obligatory legal stuff that's printed so faintly at the bottom of the screen."
Now, let's be clear - I don't have a problem with the premise of the commercial. It makes logical sense that a photographer would say this. It fits the industry perfectly and goes to the heart of the product's purpose. But come on! How hard would it have been to get an actual photographer to shoot this commercial? What about, OH MY GOD!, an actress who is also a professional photographer? What a concept?
2) All Nutrisystem commercials.
This home delivery "diet" program has big celebrity spokespeople. Like every other diet plan commercial out there, they disclaim the impressive results their on-screen "clients" are boasting about with a fine-print line like "results not typical". Garbage. Tell me what I can *typically* expect from using your product.
Nutrisystem goes even farther. They claim that their plan is "based on the proven science of the glycemic index." Do you know what the glycemic index is? Do you believe that most people have ever heard of this? The result is that people just hear "based on the proven science......"
The truth is that the glycemic index is just that, an index of foods, categorized by carbohydrate and sugar content. There is SOOOOO much more than one needs to consider before claiming that the glycemic index is a powerful tool in weight loss. And, there are still many criticisms of the reliability of this index.
So, before you go out and claim that your product is based on a "proven" science..., make sure it's actually proven.
Selling diets and nutrition to people requires even more truth than toothpaste. When these companies market their product to obese/fat people, their potential clients are buying HOPE. Their less-than-candid advertising risks creating a false sense of hope in people which will only lead to greater disappointment.
But the companies don't care because for them each lie, or half-truth that is "bought" just sounds like more $$$.
Why do these 2 companies (and many others) say just about anything in their ads? Because there are tens of millions of people out there who will turn around and say "3D white toothpaste is so good that it is recommended by professional photographers" or "Nutrisystem will work! It's scientifically proven!"
Of course, the smart ones among us will quietly laugh at this commercial, but nothing will change until we raise our voices and demand that companies be straight with us in their advertising.
Tell us the truth. And if they don't believe the truth will make us want to buy the product, then MAKE THE PRODUCT BETTER!
(okay, so it wasn't so brief... :))
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